Blue Therapy: Addressing The Issues

My latest article on Millennial Femme dissecting 3 of the major issues conveyed in the online show Blue Therapy

Millennial Femme

Whether Blue Therapy is a piece of fact or fiction, the cultural relevance of the online miniseries cannot be denied. Blue Therapy uses the context of a “therapy session” to address the issues plaguing modern relationships. No stranger to “trash” guilt pleasure like entertainment, Blue Therapy and provides a reflection of modern relationships and attempts to marry 2nd generational.

Jamel & Deborah:The topics tackled in the therapy include conflicting priorities, trust and control issues

Paul & Chioma: The topics tackled in the therapy include Paul’s controlling nature, lack of romance and intimacy, different preferences.

Issue 1: You Want to Spend But I Want to Save

If you’re unaware of the situation, Deborah wants her partner Jamel to take her on expensive holidays, fancy restaurants and shower her with luxury presents because that is what she expects from her partner and that is the experience Jamel provided in the preliminary…

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Argue With No One Else But You

My latest article from Millenial femme on how to argue / disagree effectively with your partner.

Millennial Femme

As much as we’d love for our relationship to always be completely copacetic and devoid of any disagreements, with the way life is and stuff it throws at us we can sometimes feel like we’re stuck recreating John Legends’s ordinary people. Arguments to a certain extent are normal and it’s unrealistic to believe you and your partner are never going to argue.

Sometimes people have bad days and small trivial things that you would normally ignore trigger you and sometimes major, potentially relationship ending issues arise and have to be discussed.

Truthfully, no matter how much you’re in love and how compatible you are with someone, there’s always going to be a certain level (potentially minute) level of friction in your relationship. As someone whose largely unconfrontational and hates to argue with anyone I’m close with, I struggle to have effective arguments in my relationship. Consequently, I would avoid the…

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Private Party

My advice to singleton this Valentines Day - don't wallow, have a private party and make the day yours

Protect Platonic Friendships

An article I wrote for Millennial Femme about the importance of protecting platonic relationships and how society’s forced copulation to facilitate the patriarchal agenda.

Millennial Femme

Platonic – a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex

– Urban Dictionary

In an era of sexual liberty and casual sex with friends, I feel like I’m witnessing the end of true platonic friendships. There’s a common misconception that there’s sexual tension underpinning all friendships between men and women. Certain individuals tend to perceive friendship as the intermediary stage, that either precedes sexual relations or follows amicable breakups. I blame men’s perceived entitlement to the female body and society’s disposition to reward esteem to females based on their proximity / connection to men. A lot of women succumb to the pressures of patriarchy and struggle with the concept of being alone. Subsequently they try to transform every male interaction or male acquaintance into something romantic. A lot of women don’t understand the benefits that come with having a truly platonic relation and exclude a male acquaintance if…

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Dating & Relationships: Plus Size and Mid Size Edition

Millennial Femme

Like many other females I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Although considered mid-size and what society deems an acceptable palatable level of fat, up until recently I struggle with the concept that someone could love me in my current state. I struggled with existing as a black plus size woman, I very much believe that I was living as foil to highlight the beauty of conventional white patriarchal ideals. Embedded into my psyche was a notion that I was undesirable and undeserving of love. Through therapy I began to find self-love and identify black love as internal entity. Unfortunately. these feelings recently resurfaced due to the significant amount of weight I have gained in the past year. This can partly be attributed to the pandemic and the relating happy weight. My weight gain severely impacted my ability to feel desirable. Thankfully through my shadow work I’ve started…

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First Christmas

Millennial Femme

This is the first Christmas I am spending with my boyfriend’s parents. Last year I decided to skip it because I thought it was too soon into us dating, however this year I’ve decided to join them for our first major holiday together. Thankfully, me and his parents already have a good rapport so I’m not nervous about being there. Your first Christmas invite is potentially your induction into the family, it’s paramount that you make a good impression, regardless of whether you’ve already met them before. Here are my top 5 rules to follow, to make sure you’re first Christmas doesn’t become your last Christmas (RIP George Michael).

1. Tis the season of giving – Regardless of the race or culture, it’s impolite to turn up to someone’s house on a major holiday without a present. They’re about to feed you several courses and have you in their home…

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Anti-Ally: The MisogyNoir Behind Ally McBeal

*DISCLAIMER* - mentions of rape and mild reference of child abuse* If there's one thing I learnt in 2020, it's how much early 90s to early 00s sitcom I can consecutively consume. While national lockdowns trapped me in a vicious cycle of binging on box sets, I stumbled upon Ally McBeal. I vaguely remember watching …

Fleeting Forever

Struggling to find other reasonsTo alleviate the pain that you just love for me a seasonTrying to understand why after my initial appealYou fail to feel anything realYou're contempt for me, you can no longer conceal Will you still love me tomorrow?Will you stop this impending sorrow The answer is no - you wont even …

H.D.Y.S.A.P.L.M – Dunno But Boyfriend Helps

It’s been a while since I last wrote anything to post but I thought this seems like the most appropriate place to start. I’m still trying to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria, but I’m coming to terms that this may no longer happen. It’s not that I think things are unable …

HDYSAPLM: She’s My Bestie, Bestie, Bestie

Sharifah is so much more than a best friend. I know everyone makes hyperbolic proclamations about their best friend being their soul mate but I genuinely believe Sharifah was the physical manifestation of everything my soul needed. Spending time with her feels like drinking from the Holy Grail, my soul feels replenished, the emotional pain …